after a long time silence , i start to update this english study blog again ... although i still get no idea what should i update , i move my step again , that's enough.
posted by Unknown @ 9:28 AM
0 comments
i found some interesting English jokes from the Internet
i select some of all these jokes and share these with you.
.
..
...
English Jokes Selections
--------------------------------------------------
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when
all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver
to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle
of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and
torn. "What happened to you", asked Bill. "Well, the Farmer gave me the
wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad
passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them", asks Clinton. The
driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A six-year-old girl asks her mother, - "Mommy, how old are you?"
The mother replies, - "Honey, that's a very personal question. You
are not supposed to ask a woman her age."
Then she asks, - " How much do you weigh?"
The mother says, - "Honey, that is also a personal question. People
don't want to be asked about their weight."
The girl goes on, - "Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
The mother says, - "That's a very sensitive subject. When you are
older, I'll tell you."
The next day, the girl goes to the kindergarten and tells her friend
about the conversation she had with her mother. Her friend says, -
"That's easy!! Look at her driver's license. You can find all the
information in there."
So the girl finds her mother's driver's license in her purse, looks at
it for a while, smiles big, and runs to her mother. - "Mommy, mommy, I
know how old you are! You are 32! I know how much you weigh, too! You
weigh 130 pounds! And I also know why you got a divorce! You got an
"F" in sex! "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for
such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on
the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to
accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into
the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the
businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to
$15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and
this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While
you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The businessman
replied, Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Only Life Could Be Like a Computer!
=--=
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and
start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a
break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to
recover from a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to
YOU...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and
said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave
you are and how you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an
entire week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned
it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.."
Again, the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into
his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: The real "circle of life" - man's point of view
When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with big tits.
When I was 16, I dated a girl with big tits, but
there was no passion. So I decided I needed a
passionate girl with a zest for life. In college,
I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen,
cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I
decided I needed a girl with some stability.
When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she
was boring. She was totally predictable and never
got excited about anything. Life became so dull
that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't
keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another,
never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous
things and flirted with everyone she met. She made
me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun
initially and very energetic, but directionless. So
I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with
her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her.
She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took
everything I owned.
Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big tits.
posted by Unknown @ 8:43 AM
0 comments
Skype is similar to the normal InstantMessanger we've already known(msn,yahoo IM,icq...), but it has more powerful ability on voice transimission and voice quailty, and because it use 'pure' peer to peer technology, you'll don't worry when the server break down because it don't need server to maintain.
Ok~ let me introduce some interesting functionalities that skype have~
1. good voice quality
Compare with the server delay and the poor voice quality(and some echo) when using the MSN or yahoo IM to talk online, skype have a exellent performance on the voice quality,Even when you use skype to talk with your friend in different country, you still can hear your friend's voice clearly, it feels like your friend is right next to you~
2.Conference call
you can not only use skype just 1-on-1, you can participate in conference call with four more people, and you and your friends can talk each other at the same time.
3.Skype Out
Not always your friend have PC, but you still can use skype to call him(or her) by using the skype out ,it can let you use skype to call any phone number in the world.This service is not free, but it is more cheaper compare with using regular phone.
4.Friendly Interface
how friendly? you'll know if you're trying to use it.
Now,How should we use skype to learn English? it's very easy~
you just need to find the foreigner friend throughtout skype. you can use skype to serch the foreigner by his(her)nationality, age,gender, or intersts. If you find a friendly foreigner and have will to talk with you, you're lucky,it'll be a good begining. but if you meet a strange guy... just delete it ~and find the next one.
it will be a very good experience to meet and talk with your new foreigner friend, and i think it's also a good motivation to improve your english.
Where can you download skype?
here=> http://skype.pchome.com.tw/index.htm
posted by Unknown @ 8:37 AM
0 comments
http://www.short-stories.co.uk/
This site have many english stories,some stories are very interesting.
http://jcrew.com/home.jhtml
http://www.gap.com/asp/home_gap.html?wdid=0
these two sites are on-line shopping sites, but, i think all things sold in these webs are too expensive for me...i'm a poor guy~.
but i can learn some vocabulary from these sites.
http://www.coun.uvic.ca/learn/index.html
In this site, there are many articles to teach students how to improve their learning skill, i've found someting useful for me~
http://www.dailyscript.com/movie.html
there are many movie dialogue you can found in this site, if you want to know more deeply and learn the movie you loves, that's it.
http://www.studentpost.com.tw/
this site is a online news , but it's mainly for student in taiwan to read.
posted by Unknown @ 8:09 AM
0 comments
Randall's ESL Cyber Listening Lab
This site can let you do some listening pratice.And after listening to the article you choosed, there is also have exercises can let you to check if you know the article or not.
posted by Unknown @ 2:35 AM
0 comments
This site have some imformations and introduction about the holidays.
Holidays on the Net - Welcome
posted by Unknown @ 9:53 AM
0 comments
Deadline: 10/28
A. the first 2000 most frequent words from the Brown Corpus (1,015,945 words)
http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex
B. Averil Coxhead's website about the most frequently used academic words
http://www.vuw.ac.nz/lals/research/awl/index.html
http://www.vuw.ac.nz/lals/research/awl/download/awlsublists.pdf
posted by Unknown @ 1:21 AM
0 comments
I found the site about the self-introduction. It will be very useful when I need to introduction myself with others.
The Top 10 Points to Remember about Your Self-introduction
The Top 10 Points to Remember about Your Self-introduction
by Diana Robinson, Ph.D.
We all know that it is important to develop a very brief self-introduction that tells people what we want them to know about us and our business. It is sometimes called "the elevator speech" because one should be able to finish it before the listener reaches his/her floor in a ride up or down in an elevator. This brief introduction is often our one chance to make a good first impression, so it warrants some careful attention:
1. Focus the impact.
Envision the impression on snow of a high heel, and of a snow shoe. One has focused impact, the other barely leaves an impression. To give your introduction true impact make it brief, focused, and hard hitting. Keep it to sixty seconds maximum - preferably thirty.
2. Rotate the focus.
You need to develop more than one introduction. Seek several different ways in which you can introduce yourself, particularly if you frequently present to the same people. There are many aspects of your work - develop an introduction for each.
3. Make it relevant to your audience.
Which introduction you use may depend partly on your listener(s). Try to select an aspect of your business that will be relevant to their interests.
4. Believe it.
When creating each introduction, keep to what you believe. If you oversell yourself or your services, not only are you unlikely to sound convincing, but you will also be out of integrity.
5. Put your full weight behind it.
Deliver your introduction with pride, without hesitation, without excuses, without apologies. Use no explanations that might dilute, rather than strengthen it.
6. Sound and look happy about what you do.
We are all attracted to happiness. If you are happy in your business and proud of what you do, then people will be attracted to you, and will want to work with you.
7. Look at your listener(s).
If they are to consider doing business with you they need to know that they matter to you. Making eye contact is the best way to show it in the brief time you have.
8. Know when to use it and when not.
Listen and look for cues as to when is the right time to introduce your business and when is not. Even a great introduction will fall flat, and possibly leave a lastingly bad impression, if given at the wrong time.
9. Know how to stop.
This gets back to keeping it brief and hard-hitting. Adding more and more information dilutes the impact. A lame or trailing close gives an impression of uncertainty and weakness. Keep it crisp.
10. Leave space for a response.
If you keep talking, your listener cannot ask the questions you would like him/her to ask... for your card, for more information, for clarification. Make it easy by coming to a stop... and then waiting for him/her to speak. In sales, the wait is as important as words you use.
posted by Unknown @ 7:45 AM
0 comments
